carry-on-my-wayward-butt: crispychocolate: serkret: god i hope my history teacher doesnt get extremely offended by this we have to adapt a story to be about something weve been studying and read it to the class my group is doing the very hungry hitler OH MY GOD so hitler took poland but he was still hungry
batfeathers: reallyreallyreallytrying: yo i ain’t saying she’s a gold-digger but she does carry a weird pan everywhere and keep mumbling stuff about “gold in them there hills” idk so yeah she is probably a gold digger jesus i almost choked on my tea
that-spook-from-london: foodtrucker: the invention of the shovel was ground breaking but the invention of the broom was the one that truly swept the nation.
kankri-butt: kankri-butt: so you say he can...
okay seriously reblog if you're older than 12
alltheracoons: allr5facts: seddiecabbie: faggotwearingvans: octoghost: larrychristmascuddles: jboy2000000: kimig11-riker6: madara-sama-uchiha: disney-overdose: So far only about 400 people :| This worries me deeply Everyone following me better be over 12.9 You have to be it’s in the tumblr terms and conditions Wait no there has to be more of us then that…....
idklaugh: captaindorkwad: So a 12.9 year old girl wearing crocs and a nickleback crop top walks into a starbucks. She opens up internet explorer to go onto facebook. “Follow me on tumblr :D” she posts. She signs into tumblr. “My autoplay is perfect” she says. She hums the tune to Afro Circus as she reblogs a picture of the sky with the caption “and in that moment I swear we were infinite” in...
crestfallenreaper: vulpiximisa: want to help friend but dont have words IS THAT A FUCKING QWOP COSPLAY I’VE BEEN WAITING TO SEE THIS MY ENTIRE LIFE. FUCKING, QWOP.
a-mad-man-in-a-blue-box: 221bec: lou-zer: What if car horns are just cars’ g-spots and their honks are screams of pleasure.
pizzaforpresident: professorhalfwitts: i am packed and ready for vacation this is the most ridiculous post i have ever seen
Tumblr Gets Deep, Part 2
ask-0ncie: danglingthpider: boredsociopath: On April Fool’s day everyone on tumblr should change their icon to different variations of Nicolas Cage’s face Or all follow Cole Sprouse on Twitter, then unfollow him the next day and say it was a social experiment
gaycrusader: it only takes 2 ingredients to make a baby doES THAT NOT BLOW YOUR MIND LIKE AT LEAST THERE SHOULD BE SOME FLOUR OR SOMETHING
Teaching kids to give handjobs since the 90s
You know you’re a lesbian when: You put your finger in it instead. OH GOD, I ONLY EVER PUT MY FINGERS IN THEM. I USED TO FIST THEM OH MY GHOD what the fuck does it mean if I stuck my fingers in both ends and whirled it over my head until it flew ALEX I one time i put my entire leg in one and it exploded Then there is this person ^ (you perfect human being) I’M DYING
iamthemotherfucking-fox: the-oncoming-stig: yokothetypo: awinterdawn: can we talk about chocolate oranges for a second wow so beautiful Let’s talk about them again sure does that label say whack and unwrap You literally have to throw it at a wall, and then hit it with a sledgehammer and then you may be able to eat a segment, yeah.
kaciart: iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou: Some people think the the British obsession with tea is a false stereotype but let me tell you that one time my mum and I had a massive argument and she made me some tea as a peace offering and I poured it down the sink and made my own cup
circumcisions: circumcisions: circumcisions: my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. they are tectonic plates. follow for more geological humour. i really hope the two people who just followed me aren’t looking for geological humour or you are going to be earth-shatteringly disappointed this post is one of my best by a landslide